I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
