so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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