you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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