So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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