idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
