Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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