idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
