There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
