My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
