Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
