I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
