My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
