I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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