She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
