just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
