I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
