Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
