the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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