sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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