i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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