Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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