are you still at the devil's house?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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