Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
