My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she peed on how many people?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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