she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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