SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
