i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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