THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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