they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
