hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
