why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
