i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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