hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
