i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
