the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
