I'd wear matching sweaters with you
That's intense
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
