we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
