I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
