I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
