Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
