Your tits are I can't wait for
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize