I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
