Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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