i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
