I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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