you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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