Soap is not a condiment
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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