I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
