Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
