you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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